YourChanges4Success

Anthony Cocco – Personal Change, Growth & Healing

Relationships as a pathway to Oneness

Let’s assume that the whole Universe and all life is a state of progress, growth and evolution and everything in life is in relationship in one way or another from the smallest particles of energy and matter in the Universe, to plants, animals and all sentient life. All have an existence and therefore have basic needs for survival.

The more complex the forms are, the more there seems to be needs, wants and desire for expression and fulfilment, and in nature this manifests as competition.

Human beings are the most complex forms of life on this planet, not only do they have their basic natures to contend with but also emotional, mental and spiritual needs, they are multi faceted and operate on all these dimensions at the same time while being in a state of growth and evolution towards ‘oneness’.

This makes life as a human being very challenging it requires the growth of consciousness, utilising higher forms of potential and intelligence and the harmonising influence latent within the spirit of man.

Mankind has an inner and outer relationship, his/her outer relationship reflects back to him the relationship he has with himself and therefore if understood properly acts as a mirror back to him showing his/her strengths, weaknesses, mistakes and areas that are working or not, etc, etc. Therefore life itself teaches man what is beneficial and what is not and this is done through relationship with himself, with the world and with others.

During a lifetime an individual goes through stages of development and the model I will use is the Psychology of Vision triangle by Chuck and Lency Spezzano because it’s the one I’m most familiar with.

There are three stages of development humans typically go through they are the Dependant, Independent and Interdependent stage and each stage in turn has stages.

The first stage a child goes through is Dependence and during this stage it learns to give up it’s authenticity in order to fit in by adapting to the influence of others in it’s environment in an attempt to get it’s needs met and typically during this stage it experiences fear, disappointments, heartbreaks and all the other parental, peer and social conditioning.

During this stage they are usually learning, working hard and going for it as best they can.

At some point an individual desires to become Independent they have their own expectations and want more control of their own lives, this sets up power struggle and typically will eventually lead to dissociation and deadness as individuals play the roles, do their duty and fit into society in order to be accepted.

Few consciously learn to reach the stage of Interdependence where they begin to experience true success, intimacy, friendship, leadership, vision, mastery and enlightenment on the way to ‘oneness’.

All stages have their positive and negative aspects we experience these stages of relationship within ourselves as individuals and with other people in our lives.

Those closest to us affect and influence us the most, we can receive the greatest pleasure or the deepest pain with them, however if we are aware enough to accept that people are mirrors for us then we can use them to have positive and rewarding experiences for personal growth and enlightenment

Relationships, and this includes family, friends, bosses, workmates or a partner can be our greatest asset or our worst nightmare but if we use them as opportunities to heal, change and grow then we can all benefit. A good loving partner is someone you can share the highs and lows of this journey we call life with, they can assist, help and inspire while developing their own sense of uniqueness.

Life itself seems be trying to point us in a certain direction and in a certain way of being if we ignore the signposts then we naturally experience the results. Lets hope we become experts at reading the signs and make it a happy and fulfilling journey with another.

 

 

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Know Thyself & Ask the right Questions

We can think of Life like a journey, we need to know where we are and where we want to go, that is the destination (or desired goal).

To be successful and effective it is very helpful to have a map (and/or a GPS) and plan our journey.

It is also useful to know where you are and how you arrived here as this gives a comparison for any progress made and an awareness of anything you might like to change or no-longer has any value.

As in all things in life we need to know our destination or desired goal in order to set a direction and decide on the steps or actions necessary to take.

So to recap:

1. Know your Intended destination. (The desired Goal)

2. Know where you are. (This corresponds to knowing yourself)

3. Plan your journey. ( This corresponds to the map and/GPS) [GPS corresponds to your Inner Guidance]

4. Take action steps. (What you are willing and need to do)

To successfully accomplish your Intentions and achieve your desired outcome it is important to know yourself. For instance what are your strengths and weaknesses, your want and needs, what is your attitude to certain things, etc, etc?

It is also helpful to know the difference between when you are:

  1. Thinking. (Having thoughts in your mind)
  2. Feeling. (Having feelings, sensations or emotions in your body)
  3. Believing. (Having a belief, this may or may not be true, or be partially true)
  4. Intuiting. (Sensing at a deeper level from a higher source)
  5. Knowing. (A Universal Truth)

People often mistake ‘Belief’ and ‘Knowing’. Beliefs arise from a feeling of certainty which may or may not be true or be only partially true.

Where ’as ‘Knowing’ comes from a much deeper place, has the quality of higher vibration and is an aspect of ‘Truth’.

Knowing when you are aware of having a thought, a feeling, belief, intuition or a knowing increases your effectiveness in all areas of life and enables you to make wise choices and decisions which can save a great deal of time, trial and error.

As you develop these skills and abilities life begins to take on a new meaning, it becomes more enjoyable, successful and expansive. You begin to fulfil your purpose and gain levels of ‘mastery’.

The more you are aware of who you are, your real potential and how you can operate the better you become at playing the game of life, this not only benefits yourself but also those that you love, the people you care about and the planet itself.

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